Getting married in New York City

We’ve always had a bit of a pipe dream to get married, just the two of us, in the city that never sleeps but I genuinely didn’t ever think we’d actually do it.

I’ll never be able to thank our family and friends enough for totally understanding this and enabling us to do this without any guilt. Whatever you’re thinking at this point, I’ve definitely had it said to my face by on numerous occasions already (mainly from people I barely know). So if you’re thinking of eloping, then step one is to get a very thick skin!

We didn’t use a wedding planner or even really spend that much time planning the whole thing. We chose to get married in May as it meant New York would be nicely warm but not sweltering. We’d previously visited before in September and the weather was lovely then too. Around 20-25c which I think is hot enough for a city break. I’d also check things like if there’s any big public holidays in the states or huge events like NY fashion week (which we caught the end of on our last visit and Carmen Electra was in our hotel!)

We booked flights with United Airlines from Manchester to Newark and flew Saturday morning and landed back the following Sunday morning. We decided to go for a full week as the wedding aspect does take a few days out of your touristy plans and we weren’t planning a separate honeymoon.

We stayed at MADE hotel (44W 29th Street) and although we loved the location and the decor, the welcome from the staff wasn’t that great. It was obviously the biggest day of our lives and I just felt like a bit of an inconvenience to them. Think VERY hipster.

In terms of wedding organisation, the whole pipe dream was to get married in New York City Hall (New York City Marriage Bureau at 141 Worth Street). We applied for our wedding licence online a few weeks before we went - this is only valid for 21 days - filling in normal details such as whether I’d be taking my husbands name and our parents details. This costs $35 and I would recommend doing it online first as it means it’s quicker when you get there.

What we didn’t realise is that despite already filling stuff in online, we still had to attend the Marriage Bureau and bring our passports. This needs to be done at least 24 hours before you intend to get married. We’d already booked our photographer for Mon 20th May but the office isn’t open on weekends, so we had to delay the wedding for a day until the Tuesday. Luckily we found this out before we went so were able to make all the necessary arrangements. The bureau opens at 8.45am so we were in line at that time to enable us to get the licence as quickly as possible and then be able to get married early the following day.

The whole experience of going to the marriage bureau is amazing! As we were standing in line in our normal clothes, other brides and grooms were coming in to get married that day and also queuing up! The array of dresses is immense. Some people choose to get married in jeans and others go full on massive train and veil and seven bridesmaids. I’ve always loved people watching and this was the absolute best.

Once we’d queued up and been through the security scanner, we were called to a desk to show our paperwork and passports. You then get given a numbered ticket. We got A032 that day and I think the letter part corresponds with why you’re there. You then have to sit and wait for a bit until your number is called and then go to a desk to be asked a few more questions and then get given your marriage licence. I’d highly recommend double checking it at this point. I just put it in a folder in my bag and we left. Then later on I read it and realised both of our mums names were down on the licence with their maiden names. After a mild panic, it turns out this is correct! So please don’t worry if you also notice this.

I’d had a recommendation for a photographer through another home interiors account (thanks Rebecca aka @homethirtythree), who also got married in New York. We used Jasmine Photo and they also arranged a black car service to take us from the hotel to the marriage bureau and then to our photo locations and then back to the hotel. They were also able to arrange hair and make up to be done at the hotel and a videographer to capture the ceremony. Costs are listed at the end of this post.

On the day of the wedding, the hair and make up lady arrived at 6.30am at the hotel. Mark decided to go for a coffee on his own whilst this was happening and was able to catch up with family on the phone (it was 11.30am in the UK!) which was nice as their heartfelt messages and emotion were still part of our big day. He came back as Jing (a lovely lady and a total magician at hair!) was finishing my transformation! I then put my dress on as Mark was in the shower. I’d thought long and hard about whether we should get ready in different rooms but for us it didn’t really feel like a big deal and the hotel was about $300 a night so seemed a ridiculous amount of money we could spend doing something else.

In terms of something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue... my mum gave me her garter from my parents wedding in 1977 which was both old and blue. My friend at work lent me her beautiful hair slide from her own wedding (cheers Steph!) and my sister bought me some lucky horseshoe stud earrings as something new! So our very untraditional wedding had a lot of nice personal touches to it too. I’d also bought Mark a Mondaine pocket watch and a personalised tie clip.

We were picked up by the black car service at 8.45am and although we weren’t that far from the marriage bureau it took a while in Tuesday morning New York traffic. We arrived at around 9.30am, which was shortly after the 24 hour period from obtained our marriage licence.

You only need one witness to get married in New York so we used our photographer. Worth noting that your witness also needs ID. And don’t forget your marriage licence and your passports! We got issued another ticket and this was C018 (assuming the C means for people getting married that day).

I just need to really stress here that having your wedding photos done is very odd. I don’t know if people with traditional weddings feel the same or if it was just more intense as it was just the two of us but neither of us were prepared for how bright the light on the video camera would be or how intensely our photos would be taken. Also the posing!!! Oh my god the posing. I’m not exactly an introvert but standing and gazing at each other and looking thoughtful whilst adjusting Marks button hole felt soooo fake and awkward. I just hadn’t thought about this bit of the day what so ever. On the first fifty pictures we both look super duper awkward and are laughing and looking at each other like WHAT IS GOING ON! After that we started to push back against the photography poses a bit. My dress was very poofy and I knew I didn’t want pictures of me sat down as I looked like a whale rolled in a net curtain.

We must have been there about half an hour waiting but it went so quickly as we were obviously nervous and running on adrenaline and also caught up in the weirdest photo shoot ever. We had to go back to the desk at one point to sign a few things and get the photographer to sign things as our witness and even the girl on the desk said she saw people with wedding photographers every day and ours was particularly intense!

Just like being at a deli counter, you get called forwards for your ceremony with your ticket number being flashed on a screen. We then waited a few more minutes in a different area - there are two ceremony rooms so you basically just wait for one to be free. This was an insane feeling as it was actually about to happen!

We got called in and as soon as our registrar started talking I felt like the whole world melted away and I could only see Mark. And it was really amazing. I really hadn’t known what to expect from that moment where it’s actually happening but we just had quite an intense stare and then I started crying as I’d held it in all morning to protect my $225 makeover! On the video my lip really wobbles and the photographer also captured my ugly cry face but it’s actually quite a nice memory as you can see how much it means us both. The actual ceremony itself is very short. I’d recommend watching some on YouTube if you’re thinking of doing the same thing.

It was something along the lines of:

“We’re gathered here today to witness the exchange of marital vows between XX and XX. If there’s any person here that knows of any lawful reason why these two people can not be joined in marriage, please speak now or forever hold your peace.

Do you XX solemnly declare for XX to be your wife/husband?”

“I do”

“Do you promise to love, honour, cherish and keep her/him for as long as you both shall live”

“I do”

“As a symbol of your promise, place the ring on her/his finger”

Then it swaps to the other person (Mark did his first, I don’t know if they always do it this way).

“As you both have consented to be united in the laws of matrimony and In accordance to laws of the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss.”

As I put the ring on Marks finger I said “you could have shaved your knuckles babe” to which he replies “Helen I’m wearing a microphone”. And in that two seconds I’d totally ruined our wedding video! Never mind, at least it’s an accurate representation of our actual relationship, although it’s probably the only time I’ve ever called him babe in six years.

After the ceremony we had a few photos in the room but in all honesty they’re not my favourite cos the background is a bit shabby. And we had a sunshine bathed New York City outside the door to go frolic in with much better backdrops.

We then had a few photos outside and travelled to Brooklyn with the photographer in the car too. The videographer left as we’d only asked for the actual ceremony to be filmed. It felt a lot easier without him there capturing every word we were saying.

We started off on the street in Dumbo where everyone who ever goes to New York has their pic taken! These are my favourite photos.

We then moved on to the side of the river and had photos taken of balancing on either side of some old tram lines and touching hands in the middle. I was in heels and was struggling to balance and lean and grab Marks hand and a random woman walked past and said “that’s the best metaphor for marriage I’ve ever seen” it was such a well timed and funny moment. The skies were blue and it was about 24c at this point so I definitely recommend a morning wedding if you’re doing it at a similar time of year. Also please prepare yourself that everyone that sees you is going to want to come over and congratulate you! And Americans love to compliment so there was a lot of random women shouting over “you look beautiful gurl” etc which was encouraging and also really funny! There was also a point where a yellow school bus pulled up and all the kids got off. They were only about six years old but they were all shouting congratulations and one of them told me I looked like a princess. It was so sweet and also a ten minute glance into what it must be like being famous.

We then moved on and had photos outside West Elm sat on some benches, with the Brooklyn Bridge in the background. The photographer obviously knew all the places to go so took us up through West Elm (no time for browsing!) and onto the roof terrace. There we had an absolutely amazing view of the Brooklyn Bridge and it just looks amazing with the American flag waving in the background against a brilliantly blue sky. I challenge anyone to find a better wedding photo backdrop.

We’d originally planned to walk the Brooklyn Bridge for photos but by this point my feet were on fire and our faces were hurting from smiling so we decided against it. The car then took us back to the hotel.

We FaceTimed our parents and then sat and opened all our cards and presents that we’d been given before we left. It was so nice to just sit and read everyone’s kind words.

After this, it must have been about 1.30pm we went round the corner for lunch at Woodpecker by David Burke. We were in normal clothes by this point which was absolutely brilliant as we were relaxed and also it felt like just our little secret that we’d just gotten married. We had a huge lunch as we were both starving and then went to Central Park where we rowed round the lake in a boat and it was dreamy. We also saw other couples who had just got married in the park having their photos done and I was so glad to be wearing something inconspicuous and just have it as our day without contending with loads of strangers wanting to talk to us.

The plan for the evening was to go to Olio E Piu in Greenwich but we missed the reservation as Mark was really sick. Not sure what caused it but we had a few hours just chilled at the hotel and then decided to go walk the Brooklyn Bridge as the sun went down. This was much more relaxed than a dinner and we ended up in Grimaldis in Brooklyn for the most amazing pizza. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea having pizza by the slice on a paper plate and orange soda from a plastic pint pot but it was absolutely perfect for us! And totally unintentional.

The next day we went back to the City Clerks office to obtain our extended marriage certificate. I’ve read online a lot of UK couples saying they didn’t get this and haven’t needed it. But given that I’m not likely to be jetting back to New York anytime soon, we decided to get it before we left. It costs an additional $35 and takes a few hours. Firstly go back to the City Clerks office at 60 Centre Street and they’ll give you another ticket (think this starts with a B for anyone interested!). We were in there less than half an hour before we got our extended certificate which contained a bit more info. It lists previous marriages and parents details too.

We then had to take this across the road to the court house (which was super duper cool and exciting if you’re into American law dramas!) and obtain an attachment to the certificate with the County Clerks signature on. This costs $3 and you can pay in cash or credit card.

We then went to the New York Department of State office at 123 William Street. This is about a ten minute walk away. Take snacks, drinks and a lot of patience! It’s basically a really hot and stuffy council office. I’m so glad we didn’t do this on our wedding day as it’s a long wait and there’s some interesting characters around. We couldn't get chairs next to each other in the waiting room and its not just wedding related stuff going on so has a very different tone. It took what felt like ten years, but was probably only an hour and a half. Our documents were all taken away to be signed and verified by an apostille and we paid $10 via a money order. We visited a local Western Union for the money order and a tramp kicked loads of newspapers at my legs as we were coming out and it really hurt. Splendid.

Our wedding day was absolutely what we wanted to do, and whatever your wedding vibe is just make sure it’s true to yourselves - as hopefully you’ll only do it once 🖤

Additional info:

Wedding service cost about $80 overall including the extended certificate.

Photos, video, car and glam all booked through Jasmine Photo (jasminephoto.com)

Black car service: $50 x 3.5 hours = $175

Video capture for wedding ceremony: $80

Photography: $600

Hair and make up: $225

The photos were delivered to the hotel on a USB stick two days after the wedding and we were also sent a low res preview gallery via email. The video was also available on YouTube.

Hotel was Made Hotel and cost just shy of £2k for 7 nights.

Dress was from ASOS and cost £180. Loads of high street stores have wedding dresses online so if you’re looking for something more low key then check out H&M, Dorothy Perkins, ASOS, John Lewis and Debenhams.

If you’re having a New York wedding then comfy shoes are essential! Drop the image of Carrie Bradshaw and the blue shoes as they’ll just ruin your day! Mine were the “Laina Rae” in rose gold from Clarks and are really comfy. They hurt by the end but I’d had them on for hours by this point. I’ve since bought them in a few different colours.

I took a small clutch bag with me on our wedding day from Katie Loxton which had my new initials on the corner and was £24 including the personalisation and came in very pretty gift wrap.

My engagement ring was from Diamond Heaven and they kindly made me a wedding ring to exactly match as I couldn’t find one that did. Mark tried on loads of samples from wedding rings direct - they send you cheaper versions to try in the post so you can wear them for a full 24 hours and see how comfy they actually are. This is such a good idea as he ended up with a totally different ring to what he’d been looking at and is now really happy with the real deal.

I took my flowers with me and made them and Marks button hole myself. I bought an oasis bouquet handle online and then filled with flowers from Country Baskets and Home Sense. I also had some personalised ribbon with the date and our names on the back and sewed the excess into my dressing gown as an extra tie inside. I didn’t buy a bridal dressing gown as I wanted something I’d be able to wear again so just opted for a dotty monochrome one from ASOS.